missemmamm

thoughts of an introspective party girl

Archive for January, 2010

Discontent Housewife Set

Posted by missemmamm on January 25, 2010

I shot this set to enter the Pinup Housewife Contest on PinupLifestyle.com Yes, I had a little too much fun with the photo effects.
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Please vote for me in the Pinup Housewife Contest

All of my eye makeup is by E.L.F.
FREE 27-pc Mini Makeup Kit with purchase!

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ON PEOPLE

Posted by missemmamm on January 16, 2010

Empire State Building

Empire State Building

Carrie's Stoop on Sex and the City in Greenwich Village

Carrie's Stoop on Sex and the City in Greenwich Village

ON PEOPLE

People are horny and want to get laid. Just because they fuck you at the time doesn’t mean you’re special.

New Yorkers will give you directions.

If you cry they might give you a break on your computer repair bill.

Arguing is pointless.

Tipping is not just a city in China.

If someone collects something, don’t fuck with it.

Tell a celebrity what you enjoyed about their work. Don’t just tell them they’re hot, they already know that.

ON LITTLE PEOPLE (Children)

Don’t give little kids gum or suckers.

Don’t start answering “Why” questions for children or they will never stop. Also if you start playing with them be prepared to do that all day without ceasing.

ON LIFE (Random)

Most dogs/bugs do not want to bite you.

Learn when the liquor store and pizza places open/close. Save yourself time and stop asking me, I can’t magically make them open later.

Always bring enough change to the laundromat or be screwed as you wear damp scratchy clothing.

One day you will realize that you are literally crying over spilled milk. You will laugh, hard.

If things are really bad and you’re even a little tired, go to bed.

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ON FLEA MARKETS/FOOD/DEALS

Posted by missemmamm on January 14, 2010

Money, Money, Money

ON FLEA MARKETS

The lower to the ground something is (usually) the cheaper it is.

Don’t set up earlier than 4AM or later than 9AM.

Avoid setting up at the ends of aisles. The middle is best. Even one space over from the end is better.

ON FOOD

Potted meat tastes better than Spam.

Always request extra ketchup or taco sauce.

ON DEALS

When buying anything online always do an internet search to find out if their is a free or reduced shipping code available (there usually is).

Don’t buy dog snacks at a Pet Store or Kmart. Target has a big variety at decent prices. Sometimes closeout stores like It’s A Buck or Big Lots have good buys on specialty items. Sometimes they are old though so inspect them first to make sure they aren’t dried out.

New plastic hampers work as bathroom garbage pails and vice versa.

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ON HEALTH

Posted by missemmamm on January 10, 2010

steth

EYES

If you’re an adult and have realized that your prescription no longer changes only buy glasses when they are scratched.

An optometrist’s assistant once told me (knowing our financial situation) that 1 month contacts actually will last 2 months. The quality of these seems to be going downhill recently though. A prescription is good for 1 year. Buy 2 boxes at the time of your exam.

Prior to the prescription lapsing buy 2 more boxes. Now you don’t have to get re-examined for another year.

Carry your contact case on you in case you end up stuck somewhere. If you forgot it, 2 small pill bottles and a little water will work in a pinch.

TEETH

If you are a dental hygienist, please stop trying to have a conversation with me, I can’t TALK while you have your hands in my mouth and there is saliva running down my chin!

GENERAL

When I was growing up antibiotics were given out like candy for every ailment. Now you can drag yourself to the doctor’s office (amidst all of the other zombies) whilst dripping from every orifice and leave with a prescription for overpriced cough syrup. Instead buy cough syrup (with alcohol) and some decongestant pills, tissues and cola &/or juice and go to bed.

If you are ever curious about what your GP is really like & they leave your chart out, look at it. The doctor that I was with for years left it laying out once. I read it & it was full of derogatory comments about me. Like when I was in elementary school and they told me I had high cholesterol, they made a mark next to it that said “We doubt patient will change eating habits” or something to that affect. Nice way to talk about a little kid. What’s really ridiculous in retrospect is that I didn’t eat an egg for a fucking year after they told me that & they had doubted me! Plus they put other stuff like “denies smoking” when I don’t smoke. WTF? I didn’t go back after that.

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ON LIQUOR/PARTYING

Posted by missemmamm on January 8, 2010

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If you are planning on getting hammered (at home with friends) or out (you have a DD) and didn’t get a chance to eat dinner, skip it. You will get drunk faster. Plus you know you’re gonna be hungry later and hit Taco Bell or make Mac & Cheese anyway.

Always pregame except when it’s unlimited or $1 bottles &/or rail.

Karaoke at dive bars is free entertainment (even if you can’t/won’t sing). Cheer at the conclusion of a song, especially when they are tone deaf.

Hip hop clubs and rap shows are often more fun than others (which may be a crap shoot). You can always laugh and dance badly to “Low” or “Hot In Herre” while “Pour Some Sugar On Me” is hit or miss.

Wasps and yuppies are annoying but sometimes they will buy you drinks.

If you are attending an all day music festival stay hydrated (even if some of the time it’s by vodka or Smirnoff).

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ON ENTERTAINMENT

Posted by missemmamm on January 4, 2010

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Don’t get anally raped when buying movies. Check Amazon.com often, Best Buy and Target’s ads on Sunday. You may also want to get a membership to Columbia House. You can take advantage of sales and codes which can sporadically allow you to buy movies for under $5 (old releases) to about $7 (new releases) when buying one for $20. When renting movies Netflix and Redbox are your friends.

Books aren’t worth anything as soon as you buy them. Meaning the resell value is shit. If it’s a must have author for you with rereadability you can pay full price. If you have a good library in your town you may borrow books for free or for a nominal fee (usually .10-.15 a day for new hardbacks). You may also want to join BookMooch.com

Movie theater candy is expensive, act accordingly.

Drive-ins are more fun when attending with a group.

Pay for cds or mp3s. Illegal downloads will give you viruses.

Something will always be funny during an episode of SNL, even if it’s only 1 sketch.

Lady Gaga, Flo-Rida and KISS are showmen.

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