missemmamm

thoughts of an introspective party girl

St. Patrick’s Day Thoughts

Posted by missemmamm on March 17, 2010

St Pattys Day 09

2009

Leprechaun Joke
This used to be my all time favorite joke. I read it in Maxim years ago. P.S. I didn’t write this joke. If you aren’t of average height (some people prefer 1 term while other prefer another), I’m not trying to demean you.

A guy goes to the restroom in a bar. While at the urinal he looks next to him and sees a midget. He says “Wow, you have a big dick. I wish I had a dick that big.” “Well I’m a leprechaun. I can grant you one wish.” “Really? How?” “If you let me fuck you I’ll grant you that wish.” So while their having sex the guy yells out “I can’t believe I’m getting fucked by a leprechaun!” The midget says “I can’t believe you think I’m a leprechaun.”


Backstory

I have a weird history with St. Patrick’s Day. For the most part it isn’t good. Skip below to read the about the year I had fun. In 2006 my sister Donna called and invited me to visit her in Bmore (before I lived there I often visited) because she knew that I had never partied for St. Patty’s Day before. We went out to the now defunct Baja Beach Club. It was okay but not great that night. The next day my mother called and told me that my aunt Charlotte had been found dead the day before but hadn’t told me because she didn’t want to ruin St. Patrick’s Day for me. Donna and I wet to the carnival and to see The Libertine (great flick BTW) to take our minds off of it. Trying not to cry at a carnival isn’t fun. Another year my late brother called and asked for the above joke that I had told him when he was drying out for a week a month or two prior. Then last year I really wanted to go out & dragged someone who doesn’t drink with me. I got trashed (not in a good way) but at least I had fun singing Old Time Rock and Roll and Maroon 5 at karaoke. I went out alone this past Halloween and it sucked so tonight I’ll be at home drinking a modified White Russian and watching the (hopefully) laughably bad Did You Hear About the Morgans?. I might attend bingo first.

St Pattys Day Pregame Guitar Hero

St Pattys Day Bar

Wow, I Didnt Even Remember Wendy Being There, I Was So Drunk-St Pattys Day Bar

Post Game St Pattys Day

Postgame St Pattys Day

2008

Right To The Fell’s Point

That year I was living in Bmore and we had all decided to go out for St. Patty’s Day. Of course we decided to pregame before. I didn’t have any money so I decided that I had to get as drunk as possible before we left since I couldn’t buy drinks at the bar. I got pretty wasted (in a good way though) and barely remember the bar. We went to Rodos and even though they were at capacity they let us in because we were regulars. After that we came home and drank some more. I remember drinking Natty Bohs and then making Jason eat a spoon of the icing I was eating which was really funny. BTW-Natty Bohs and icing don’t go well together.

The next day I was woken up by banging on the front door. There was a girl in bed next to me. I assumed it was Donna. At the door were 3 young guys who were yelling ‘Yo, let us in, it’s the plumbers”. I would later refer to them as the Yo Boy Plumbers. I let them in and 2 tall skinny guys and 1 tall fat guy entered. Our usual maintenance guy was an older short guy so that was unusual in itself. Two of our radiators had been broken for like a month and we kept calling and they had finally shown up. They kept telling me how it wasn’t even cold but we had been freezing our asses off. The thing was it was 9 or 10 in the morning and these guys were incredibly high. They kept hopping around and laughing and making jokes which is really annoying when you are hung over. They saw the table full of cups and bottles and were like “Late night, huh?” and said they hadn’t gone out. Then I took them to my sister’s bedroom and they fixed that radiator. After they left I took care of the dog and got ready. My sister woke up and yelled at me. It turns out that my friend Jen was the one in bed with me because she didn’t want to drive home drunk. Donna had been in her room the whole time they were working on the radiator and she had been sleeping with very little clothing under her sheet.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: