thoughts of an introspective party girl

Say What?!?: Things You’re Never Supposed To Say

Posted by missemmamm on June 21, 2010

say what collage

(I wrote this down a few days ago when I was upset to amuse myself. These things aren’t just random and do have a basis in reality but I’m not sure if I will be updating this post with an explanation or just let them stand for themselves.)

I liked you better before the stroke.

Hey, you’re wearing a sweater in July, are you anorexic?

I prefer Lindsay Lohan’s Edge of Seventeen cover.

It’s starting to rain, I have to go drug my dog.

I think children should be leashed in public.

To Missionaries Who Come To Your House: I’m an atheist. Please leave and never come back.

I think all drugs should be legalized.

In A Haunted House: These lights are giving me a seizure.

I really hate that I got paired with the gay guy to dissect a frog.

You soy pequito Espanol.

I can’t find these pink hot pants in my niece’s size.

I prefer government cheese to Velveeta.

Do you want something to eat? No, I plan on drinking later.

I used to write bad poetry too.

Aren’t you gonna finish that pitcher of daiquiris? It cost me $6.

Why are you hitting on me when you’re obviously gay?

You’re the guy from the bathroom.

That baby is so cute. I wish I had a baby. Me too. (in the vicinity of a friend you slept with but aren’t dating)

To A Doctor:

I demand to be fully sedated for this operation.

Fuck You.

You don’t know what you’re talking about. You can’t speak English and you just added 2+5 and held up 8 fingers.

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